My name is Shoba. I spent my 20s doing things that I thought I wanted but realized I didn’t so it’s now time to find out what I can do whole-heartedly and create a life aligned closer to my interests. I’m a Marketing professional and in 2014 I took a break from the corporate world. In the past couple of months, thanks to my blog, I’ve re-discovered my love of writing.
I write about things that interest me, issues I’m facing now as I take the road untravelled and just living in general.
I’ve also started a monthly post called #WorkTalk, profiling people I met who’ve transformed their life and work that they do. What caused the change, did they always know what they wanted to do, how tough was it to make this change? People always talk about the end result but it’s the journey that I’m really interested in. As I’ve found out, the journey is never plain sailing.
Drop me a note. I’d love to hear from you. Either leave a comment on my blog or tweet me @shobaharidas
shobaharidas 
hello! i found your blog while searching for how to become more decisive in life. I too have spent many years doing something which I no longer find meaning in. Ever since then I have drowning in my own pool of doubts and uncertainty and not finding anyone who can remotely understand this state without advising me to plan for the next step. Honestly I have no plans, and thats why I keep feeling I will be a disappointment and i couldn’t make use of the resources I was born with. Reading some pieces of your blog, I finally found some peace it made logical sense. I was cursing myself for not knowing what to do next, but maybe that is okay.
LikeLike
Hey Jayeeta,
Sorry for the late reply. I was on holiday and away from the net 🙂
In a world where everyone seems to know what they want in life, where plans and goals are prized, it feels horrid to not know what to do. You really do feel like you are literally wasting your life and your skills. After I quit my job, I found that my life was so uncertain that I couldn’t make any plans at all and I felt like a failure. My life is not anymore certain right now but I’ve become better at handling uncertainty and not knowing. Not all the time but definitely better than how I was before. Its a really hard path to find out what is important to you and to build a life to reflect that. Its also a lonely path because its something only you can do and lots of people don’t understand.
What helped me the most – was surprisingly, loving and approving of myself unconditionally. Because no one else will do this for you and you really need it. Try not to curse yourself. You have to be your own best friend when the journey is tough. And you know what, lots of people don’t know what they like and what they want to do. Lots of people. So give yourself a break.
Btw, it means so much to me that you have read my posts and found it useful. Thank you.
Good luck with your journey. Whatever happens, it is your own journey and that makes it special. No matter what.
LikeLike
Thank you so much for writing back. For the moment i am conditioning myself to enjoy the journey everyday more than focussing on the end result
LikeLike
Great! Keep at it. Its a process
LikeLike
Hello,
My name is Alyssa. I’m 22 years old. I just read your blog on indecisiveness. It’s Monday morning and I should be at work . That’s where everyone thinks I am. But I don’t have a job, not anymore. What started off as a part-time job when I was 17 became my full time job after I dropped out of University. That is until two weeks ago. Two weeks ago the company I worked for went into foreclosure, I saw this coming because management couldn’t give me regular work for about year prior to this happening. I knew I needed to make a decision and start taking the necessary steps to find myself another job. I’ve been coming here everyday with my computer, with the intention of doing just that. Everyday for a year. And I still haven’t moved passed the first hurdle. I just end up sitting here in a panic. I feel so lost and alone and ashamed of how my life has turned out. I live in fear of rejection. I was very competent until I made the decision to leave University. Since then I’ve never trusted myself to make the right choices. Your blog resonated with my thoughts. I don’t usually do this sort of thing, but you sound so approachable. So, I thought I’d get in touch. Look forward to hearing from you.
LikeLike
Hey Alyssa,
The twenties is a weird time. Before now, your whole life had been structured for you. There was a syllabus to follow, validation you could aim for. And now its all gone.
I want you to know that what you are feeling is common. We all go through it. I’ve been through the particular mix of shame and panic more often than I’d like. Sometimes it feels like being caught in a whirlpool, you don’t know which side is up or down. You can’t make sense of your situation and you don’t know what the next right step should be.
And that’s completely okay. That’s part of a being human.
Nowadays, everytime I’m stuck, I ask myself, “what story am I telling myself that’s keeping me stuck? What am I really scared of here.” It takes a lot of digging around but I usually get there.
Is there a story you are believing in? Is there something you are scared of? And how much of that are assumptions or projections and not based in reality? For example, you made a statement about competency but you sound pretty competent to me. You have assessed your situation really clearly, you have been previously employed and you made it to University. You have the right plan in place to tackle your problem. You are just stuck and that’s not a competency issue. That’s a very human psychology issue.
I’m not going to say it will get better but I will say, you will get through this even though you have no idea how at this stage.
Hugs
LikeLike