Hello 2015, I’m scared

I remember at the start of 2013, I had one thing on my mind – I NEED TO BUY MY OWN PLACE.

I had just been informed that I needed to move out again mid-April and I was honestly sick of moving every few months. And I thought, I don’t care what anyone says but by April, I’m going to buy my own flat. Otherwise, my plan was to leave London. I didn’t tell anyone this because lots of people would have told me trying to get a flat within 4 months in London is impossible and I needed to be more realistic. But it didn’t matter. My reality was that if I didn’t find my own space within 4 months, I was going to have a mental breakdown. I loved London but NOTHING was worth this much of emotional and mental pain. London was becoming a dysfunctional relationship. Fortunately, I did end up buying a flat.

Going into 2014 was a bit different. I did want to do certain things i.e. start a retirement fund, etc but it was mostly about what I wanted to stop doing. Have you asked yourself that? WHAT DO I WANT TO STOP DOING? It’s an interesting question that you should ask yourself if you haven’t already. I was quite surprised at some of the answers that I came up with.

For example, I realized I wanted to stop travelling so much. I’ve always loved going to new countries and cities. In fact, I’d be out of London nearly every month going somewhere new. But suddenly last year, I didn’t want to spend hours in the immigration queues, getting stuck on cancelled and delayed flights and spending as much time getting home from the airports than the flight itself. There were other things that I wanted to stop doing and I did and 2014 proved a calmer, more stable year. A year that gave me the mental and emotional space and strength to make a very important decision to quit my job and take a break.

Now 2015 is here. And to be honest, I’m scared. Taking a break was great but I told myself I need to start getting my act together in 2015. I want to find a job that makes me excited again. I want to start something on my own. I’d like to find a way to write more regularly. And I’d like to break out of my comfort zone more – DO the things that I’m truly uncomfortable with and not just TALK ABOUT DOING IT.

There is room for so much possibility and with that …. room for so much failure.

Did I tell you I was scared?

And then I suddenly chanced upon this quote out of nowhere just this morning.

Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 11.16.47

So this year, it’s about doing all I can to tread this path. See you on the other side

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One Comment Add yours

  1. YZ says:

    Thanks for sharing the inspiration! Best of luck to all of us on this journey into 2015 and see you on the other side!

    Liked by 1 person

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