I remember telling a good friend of mine that I was thinking of quitting my job. This was some months back and he was like, “Shobs, you really like to live on the edge, don’t you? You are just settled in your flat and now you need a new challenge.”
That really stopped me in my tracks for a bit. I started thinking, am I really that person? Someone who just needs to pursue a challenge all the time. Someone who will never be happy and satisfied with what I have? I definitely didn’t want to be that person.
But after mulling over what he said for some time, I honestly don’t think that was it. I had been dissatisfied with my job for about 3 years but quitting a job is a big risk and I wasn’t in a position to take that risk for some time.
Firstly, I was in the tail-end of a relationship and all of my energy had gone towards trying to work that out. For those of you who have been here, you know how exhausting this can be. I was an emotional wreck. There was no room for anything else.
Secondly, as a Londoner caught in London’s nightmare rental market (landlords were renting flats with 6 month break clauses as they were hoping the market would turn in 6 months so they could sell), I was constantly on the move. Just as I had barely settled into a flat, I would need to be on the hunt again for a new flat, squeezing in flat viewings every evening, putting offers, being rejected, being scared that this time, maybe I wouldn’t find a place in time, then finding somewhere, packing and moving in. Cue a couple of months and the whole process would start all over again.
In addition to work, which was very, very intense, I was just constantly fire-fighting – solving one problem after another. And one day I had had enough. I just couldn’t use up all my life energy for these things anymore. So we ended the relationship. It took sometime to process the grief and once I more or less got a handle on this, I decided to buy a flat to get out of London’s rental nightmare. And I did and for 12 sweet months after that, life was good, life was easy, life was stable.
And for once, I had the freedom to think about the life I wanted to have, the job I wanted. And you realize that’s when you can actually afford to take big risks in life – when life is strong, when you are stable.
So look towards simplifying and strengthening these 3 areas in your life. I’d like to give them a grand name – the tripod of life.
1. Relationships – weed out all bad relationships that cause you to become unstable, get caught in dramas and constantly drain you. And by relationships, I also mean those with family and friends. Surround yourself with emotionally healthy, supportive people. Relationships in life are meant to bring you joy. It’s not meant to make your life difficult
2. Security – you need to feel safe and this could mean different things to different people but it’s usually having a place to call home and having financial stability
3. Health – this should actually be number one. You need to take care of yourself and feel healthy.
Sort these out. Otherwise, you don’t have energy or space for your dreams or even to pursue goals.